Identity Project

Understanding True Tolerance: A Christian Perspective on Disagreement

What Does It Mean to Be “Intolerant”?

Imagine being called “intolerant” during a conversation—not because you’re being harsh or unkind, but simply because you disagree. It’s a scenario many of us face today, highlighting a significant cultural challenge: the word tolerance doesn’t mean what it used to.

In today’s world, conversations often suffer from mismatched definitions. The word “tolerance” is no exception. To engage in meaningful dialogue, clarifying what we mean by the terms we use is critical.

So, what does true tolerance look like? And how do we respond when accused of being intolerant? Let’s explore two key insights that can help.

The Problem with Today’s Definition of Tolerance

In modern culture, tolerance is often understood as accepting and affirming everyone’s ideas and behaviors as equally valid or true. Phrases like “find your truth” or “what’s true for you is true for you” reflect this mindset.

At first glance, this definition sounds inclusive, but it has a critical flaw: it’s self-contradictory. If everyone’s ideas are equally valid, then the claim “there is no ultimate truth” must also be true—and that’s a truth claim.

“The claim that ‘there is no truth’ is self-defeating because it itself is a truth-claim. If someone says, ‘There is no truth,’ the best response is a question: ‘Is that true?’”
– Sarah Stonestreet

Calling someone intolerant also assumes a moral standard—that intolerance is wrong. Yet if all ideas and actions are morally equal, then intolerance can’t be wrong either. This inconsistency exposes the flaw in redefining tolerance as a universal affirmation.

 

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True Tolerance: Respectful Disagreement

True tolerance doesn’t mean accepting or affirming all ideas. Instead, it involves respecting someone even when you disagree with them.

“You can’t actually tolerate things you agree with. You can only truly tolerate something you think is wrong.”
– Sarah Stonestreet

The root of the word tolerate means to endure or bear. Tolerance requires acknowledging and respecting someone’s beliefs without agreeing with them. For example:

  • Agreement: Someone who is pro-choice can’t tolerate abortion. They already believe it’s wrong, so they don’t need to tolerate it.
  • Tolerance: A Christian who believes Jesus is the only way but respects someone of another faith. This demonstrates true tolerance because the disagreement remains but within a context of respect.

This distinction is crucial. Redefining tolerance as agreement erases the ability to disagree while remaining respectful—something our culture desperately needs today.

Why True Tolerance Matters

When tolerance is misdefined as a universal affirmation, it loses its meaning. Worse, it erodes the ability to have respectful debates on important issues. Genuine tolerance allows for disagreement while maintaining respect, enabling constructive dialogue.

In a society where disagreement often leads to accusations of intolerance, understanding true tolerance is essential. It fosters conversations where differing views can coexist without hostility, encouraging both truth and compassion.

Trusting Him, Shaping Me, Restoring Us

To live out true tolerance as Christians, we can anchor our responses in three commitments:

  • Trusting Him: Trust in God’s truth as the foundation for engaging in difficult conversations. While cultural definitions of tolerance shift, God’s Word remains unchanging.
  • Shaping Me: Allow conversations about tolerance to refine your understanding of love and respect. True tolerance reflects Christ’s example of loving others while standing firm in truth.
  • Restoring Us: By practicing true tolerance, we contribute to restoring a culture where meaningful dialogue and respectful disagreement are possible.

 

Practical Steps for Living Out True Tolerance

  1. Explain What You Mean: Make sure both sides agree on what “tolerance” means to avoid confusion in the conversation.
  2. Disagree Respectfully: Share your perspective without being unkind. Respect the person, even if you don’t agree with their ideas.
  3. Ask Thoughtful Questions: If someone says, “There’s no truth,” ask, “Is that true?” Simple questions can help clarify their point without being confrontational.
  4. Show Love Like Jesus: Treat others with care and respect, just as Jesus did, while remaining true to your beliefs.
  5. Don’t be Afraid of Debate: Be willing to have honest, respectful discussions about tough topics. Disagreeing doesn’t mean being unkind—it’s how you handle it that matters.

 

Embodying Christlike Love in a Culture of Misunderstood Tolerance

True tolerance requires disagreement, not approval. It’s about respecting others while holding firmly to what you believe is true.

In a world where tolerance is often misunderstood, Christians have the opportunity to model what it really means—to love others without compromising truth.

If you’re seeking to navigate these cultural challenges with wisdom and grace, IdentityProject.tv offers resources to help you grow in faith and understanding. Start your journey today to engage the world with Christlike love and a commitment to truth.