Identity Project

Loving Your Children Well: Biblical Wisdom for Parenting in Today’s World

Parenting is one of life’s greatest joys and challenges. Each child is unique, bringing their own talents, quirks, and needs into the family. As Mary Rice Hasson, a mother of seven, reflects: “I went through a lot of parenting books. I was always looking for the book that was really going to help me figure out how to be the best mom to each of our kids.”

 

Despite all the advice, no book captures the fullness of raising children, but one simple truth resonates: parenting is about love. This love isn’t abstract; it’s expressed through actions that meet your child’s deep human needs—needs for eye contact, physical affection, time, and boundaries.

The Foundations of Love: What Every Child Needs

Three core elements—eye contact, physical affection, and time—are essential for healthy parenting. These small, intentional acts communicate deep truths about a child’s worth and value.

Eye Contact: The Look of Love

Eye contact may seem simple, but its impact is profound. Looking your child in the eye says, “You matter. I see you, and you are worth my full attention.”

 

“When we use eye contact, we’re telling our children, ‘You are significant, you are worthy of being seen.’”
– Mary Rice Hasson

Eye contact demands presence. It means setting aside distractions like phones or tasks—a child who feels seen experiences their inherent value as a person made in God’s image.

Even Jesus modelled this kind of intentionality. Scripture often notes how He “looked at them with love.” Following His example means turning away from distractions and focusing on your child with eyes of love.

Physical Affection: The Power of Touch

Every human being needs physical affection. Studies have shown that children deprived of touch can suffer emotionally, psychologically, and even intellectually.

“Touch is life-giving. It’s human. It’s how Jesus healed—He reached out and touched people.”
– Mary Rice Hasson

Physical affection can feel overwhelming for parents, especially in large families or during busy seasons. But it’s important to remember that some children, particularly quieter ones, may not actively seek hugs or physical closeness but need it just as much.

Intentional physical affection—whether through hugs, holding hands, or simply sitting close—communicates love in a way words often cannot.

Time: Kids Spell Love, T-I-M-E

Time is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. Setting aside special time with each child tells them, “You matter. I can’t wait to spend time with you.”

“Sharing experiences, whether big or small, builds trust and deepens relationships.”
– Mary Rice Hasson

Making time for your child strengthens the relationship and lays the groundwork for future conversations, especially during adolescence. Regular, intentional time helps children feel secure, valued, and loved.

Setting Boundaries: Loving Through Guidance

Loving your children also means guiding them with boundaries. Rules and expectations are not oppressive but protective. They act as guardrails, keeping your children safe and oriented toward what is good.

“These guardrails for life keep us faithful in our relationship to God and to others—just like guardrails on a highway.”
– Mary Rice Hasson

Even if you’ve made mistakes in your past, you can still guide your children. A parent’s past doesn’t disqualify them from teaching their children God’s truth. Instead, those experiences can make your guidance even more compassionate and grounded.

Trusting Him, Shaping Me, Restoring Us

Parenting in light of God’s design involves three key commitments:

  • Trusting Him: Pray for your children daily, asking God to provide for their needs. Trust in His wisdom and provision, even when parenting feels overwhelming.
  • Shaping Me: Parenting refines us, teaching humility, patience, and dependence on God. It reminds us of our own need for grace as we seek to love our children well.
  • Restoring Us: We participate in God's restorative work by raising children in love and truth. Our parenting reflects His care and points our children toward their ultimate identity in Christ.
“True love means willing the good of the other. Beg the Lord for your children. Ask him to give them what they need. And you can trust that the Lord is never outdone in generosity.”
– Mary Rice Hasson

Practical Steps for Loving Your Children Well

To meet your child’s deepest needs and guide them according to God’s design, consider these practical steps:

1. Make Eye Contact: Look your child in the eyes when you speak to them. Set aside distractions and show them that they are your priority.

2. Offer Physical Affection: Be intentional about giving hugs, holding hands, and showing affection, even to children who may not actively seek it.

3. Create Quality Time: Set aside regular one-on-one time with each child to build trust and deepen your bond.

4. Establish Boundaries: Provide clear rules and expectations, explaining that they are for your child’s protection and growth.

5. Pray Without Ceasing: Lift your children up to the Lord daily, asking for His guidance and provision in their lives.

 

Raising Children in God’s Light

Parenting is both a gift and a responsibility. Each child is a unique blessing entrusted to us by God. By meeting their needs for eye contact, physical affection, time, and guidance, we reflect God’s love to them.

Even when we fall short, we can trust in God’s grace to equip us for the journey. As Mary puts it:

“Love your children. Be grateful. They are such gifts. Thank the Lord for every life He entrusts to us.”
– Mary Rice Hasson

If you’re seeking biblical wisdom and practical support for raising your children, start your journey today at IdentityProject.tv. Explore resources that help you parent with purpose, reflect God’s love, and guide your children toward flourishing in Him.